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Day 1

I thought the end of the world would make me feel different. I'm surprised with how calm I am. Just this morning, an emergency news broadcast went out, informing us that NASA has detected an asteroid or a pair of asteroids or a super comet or something, headed directly for Earth. No way to stop it, no way to change it's course, we're just done. They've calculated it crash into us in 33 days. You think they'd notice something like that sooner. Or maybe they did and the people in charge just decided to tell us now. How awful of a situation would that be? Somewhere out there is someone or someones who think they know when it's best to tell everyone on the planet that they're going to die. Some group of assholes could have collectively decided that 33 days is the perfect amount of time to give everyone to come to grips with death. I'm not a scientist, but I'm pretty sure NASA can see storms happening on other planets, so I'm not about to submit to the fact that they just found out about this. Now that I mention NASA, I wonder why they didn't mention the space program on air. I guess it would be pandemonium. There we go again. The higher-ups, these super leaders decide who the best and brightest minds are. Who gets to try and escape on a spaceship and live out humanity's days plowing through space. I wonder who gets to go? Scientists? Farmers? Professors? Probably not. Definitely not airline pilots. I can't pilot them through space.

I suppose I should be more upset. But hopefully this will be my contribution. Hopefully. Hopefully I can be a time capsule for some future race. I can be a mark on history for some other race or species or... maybe even humans if someone does survive. One of the chosen ones can find my innermost thoughts on the destruction of humanity and I'll be a little bit bigger speck of dust than I am now. I wish I was a better writer. Anyway here goes.

I actually went to work today. Oh god I must have been one of five people in this city who went to work. Good thing I ride my bike though because the roads were jam packed. I initially asked myself where they were all going, but the first thing that popped into my head was family. If you're just some guy or girl, living in Tucumcari, New Mexico, you probably want to spend your last month with your family. I imagine that's a nice way to go. Huddled together on the couch, preparing for the end. Better than a long battle with cancer or alzheimers. Or getting stabbed. But it turns out a lot of people don't live with their families, so it was my job to get them there. Someone asked me when I was going to be with my family. I told him I don't have one. The silence was predictable. I am an only child and my parents died when I was 13. Drunk driver. My last serious girlfriend was 7 years ago and I have no idea or care where she is.

So I spent 22 hours flying planes. That's illegal. I wanted to feel like a hero, but I knew I wasn't. I just had nothing better to do. Besides, I already decided that I'm putting in my two weeks notice today. I think that would be funny.

Day 9

I found a gun in somebody's house about 4 miles away from my own. This, to me, brings up an important question. Who would care enough about their life to buy a gun, but not bring it with them when they vacate their home during the end times? I suppose they could have had an epiphany. "I don't need that gun anymore, darlin', we're all gonna be dead soon." I actually said that part out loud just now. I was acting it out as I jumped around on their king size bed. Not much better to do. This bed is darn comfortable though. I ate all the count chocula these kind folks had so I went back out on the road to find a new house to rummage around in. A surprising amount of people left town entirely. I am unsure now about my "family" theory. I was positive everyone wanted to be with their families in the end. Maybe they still do, but they don't want to be in Tucumcari. Like it matters where we are when we all get splattered by a meteor.

I went down to the TV station yesterday. Jim was still doing the news on a nightly basis! He would also go to the station early in the morning and do the morning show and then lunch stuff and basically be on TV all day for the few people left. What a guy. We became fast friends. We bonded over our common interests: Not wanting to die, being scared, not knowing a dang thing. He told me he was sure a bunch of people would live through this. Something about there being a slim chance, and that the space rock wouldn't straight up shatter the Earth into bits or anything. I told him we're about to be the dinosaurs of this age. Then I stomped around with my arms tucked in and made screechy growly noises. We broadcasted all of this. It was the first time I saw Jim smile since I visited him this morning. The last time I would see him smile, too. He wasn't broadcasting the next morning, so I went to the station. He was on the floor next to the table. The gun was still in his hand. There was a note next to him on clean, white paper. It just said "I'm sorry." It's okay Jim. See ya around, buddy.

Day 17

You can actually see it now. I was being adventurous and climbed a metal tower of some sort. I think it was an electric line tower or whatever you call them. I'm not really sure. They have that 'A' shape at the bottom, but look like big, metal cacti up top. Bunch of wire running across the top. Whatever. Anyway I was on top of one that was also on top of a big hill and I saw it. It's 16 days away still and I can see it! 16 days away. Jeez. That thing must be stinking massive. There is no way this journal is going to survive. Oh well. I'm going to keep writing in it for my own sanity. Whatever sanity I have left. Doesn't seem to be much. I sat on top of a metal tower today and shouted things. There was a fun echo. I sang a little bit. I spit off of it. I climbed down.

It must have been there for a few days now that I think about it. You probably could have seen it for a while, I just have been looking at other things than the sky. The sky is so boring anymore. It used to be fun to lay and dream and cloudgaze and hang out. Now I root through people's belongings and take their pictures for my idea. I figured I would grab as much stuff as I could and then find somewhere safe to put all of it in case I survived. We could all reconvene here eventually. Imagine the joy someone would find when they traveled back to Tucumcari and found me and I had a picture of their wife and kids playing in the yard. They'd go "I thought that was lost forever!" and I'd go "I thought you were lost forever!" and I'd hug them. We'd go over to my stores of beans. Beans would be the only thing left because I don't like them so I would just store them for others. I would have eaten all the good stuff by now because I like to eat and there isn't much to do now except eat. Seriously people left behind so much food. Enough that I will scatter it around someone's kitchen and make it look like a struggle took place. Then I'll put a couple sticks of asparagus behind my ear like a crazy person and kick the door open. I'd won the fake fight! I'd cock my licorice shotgun and fire skittles into the street. "I'm the best villain ever! The candyman!" But asparagus isn't candy, nobody would retort. "Shut uppa you face!" I turned into an Italian/New Jersey hybrid caricature and lobbed a gushers grenade at them. It was 5 packs of gushers wrapped up in fruit by the foot. "Stay offa my land, see!" I'd shout. I looked like a lunatic. Maybe I was.

Day 30

Uh. It's really hot. I don't know what's going on with this meteor thing. Sometimes I can see it, sometimes I can't. It's seriously over 100 ever day. I can't breathe outside sometimes. The air is so thick and sweaty it hurts to breathe. I have to wrap a cold towel around my face to travel outside and my skin hurts. Darn. This is ruining everything. Tucumcari was a virtual paradise for me now that all the inhabitants had gone. Anybody who was left now surely weren't leaving their house. Carly was going to stay inside and make sure her dog was cool. Her husband, Lane, too I guess, but she was obsessed with that dog. They were a newly married couple, each just 25 years old. I threw them a honeymoon party, even though they had been married about 8 months. They liked it, I think. The Candyman made an appearance. Nobody expected it. Nobody ever does. I saw them about 2 days ago, but they're probably fine. I'll have to make the rounds tonight when it cools off.

Cara was probably 90 years old. I spent a lot of time at her house because she's old, but she is so very slow. I might go over there now because it's going to be hotter tomorrow so I probably won't be able to move as much. There were only 2 women I found left in town so far and they both had C names. That's a crap, I said. Can't they change it. C'mon. That's all the c words I know. I've expertly honed my humor in these past few weeks. I'm funny now!

I'm no space expert or NASA scientist guy but I'm pretty sure it's not supposed to be this hot. I mean even with a giant rock bearing down on us. Something is funky to me. It's outrageously hot. And everything is seemingly a red hue. Not like overbearing or anything but there is a tint in the sky. Like it's always the sunrise or sunset. Or something. Guess I'll never know. Add that to the list of things that I will never get an answer to.

There is a mansion in the ritzy part of town. It has a huge, finished basement. I told everyone we should bring as much as we can and want to it tomorrow and plan to finish our days there. It's no bunker, but it was the best I could find in the time I had. It's going to be a pain to move in the heat, but we've got to do it. I'm confident we can survive this thing. We have to. Someone has to survive. Dang it. I'm so worried these pages are going to burn. Why do I even want people to see this? I'm a terrible journal writer. You look at like Civil War journals and people talk about the generals and entire histories are extrapolated from them. I talk about the idle musings of my mind and the niceties of my hometown. The only town I've known. Nobody is going to care about Tucumcari after this thing hits. They're going to care about the crater where their face used to be. Ugh.

Time to wait for nightfall. I'm going to gather everyone around midnight so it's cooler and we can move to the house and get in our basement. Time is ticking.

Day 33

I'm writing this in the morning because I don't know if I'll have time to write later on. The day is here. We're all crowded up in our maniac mansion. The basement. There are several rooms down here and carpeting and beds and couches and TVs and stuff. It's actually pretty nice. This is almost nicer than my apartment. It's me, Tommy, Carly and Lane, Randy and Greg. I went over to Cara's house when we were all moving in. She wasn't moving. I put my finger under her nose and didn't feel breath. I picked her up and she didn't resist and hung limp over my arms. I took her outside and everyone saw. I didn't know what to do so I brought her. I don't know if it was the right thing but I needed to. I was just so angry. 3 days! She missed it by 3 days. Dang. It's okay Cara. You're still with us. I always wondered where her family was. I was going to ask her when we were holed up in our home together. Well, no matter. She can be my family now. Our family, if they all want. Night, grandma.

Lane brought over a bunch of radios and receivers and transponders. I don't know what any of them does or how to work them and neither does he. Tommy knows them quite well and he said he "set them up." No idea. Anyway that happened, so that's pretty cool. We're going to try to contact people or we can be contacted? I'm still not sure, but it's nice to have. Tommy did a great job. So we're all set up in our different rooms with different beds and everything and we're settled in. Now we wait. I'm pretty good at this, but I'm worried about everyone else. I'm pretty sure the world is supposed to be messed up really good after this, so even if this basement protects us, I don't know if we can go out there. There are gonna be like mega volcanoes or something. Dang I wish I was smarter. Reading this back over I sound so stupid. I rarely have any idea what I'm talking about. Some good that airline piloting did for me. 1 day of knowledge and 32 days of stupidly walking around an abandoned desert town. Dang it.

Well anyway, this is it. I don't think the basement is going to save us anyway. We've got food and heat and cold and shelter and pretty much all we need. We'll see. Hope is all we have left.

Goodnight everyone, I love you all.

..............

Day 1277

A voice came over the radio today. It came in halfway through a message and it had been sputtering and whirring but I'm sure of what I heard. "...mostly empty, but keep checking houses. We need to be sure. You know the drill. If you find a dead body, burn it. If you find a live one, make it dead. Over."